Toilet humour

From Exampleproblems

Toilet humour (also potty humour) is a type of humour dealing with bodily toilet functions. Public reference to bodily functions is taboo in many cultures. This genre also sees substantial crossover with the sexual humour genre, most likely because of the multiple-function nature of the body parts involved in both genre as well as the sexual fetishism involved with certain bathroom functions.

Many artists have made their names promulgating toilet humour:

• Much of the lyrical content of avant-garde rock musician Frank Zappa's songs revolved around toilet humour, for example, "Watch out where the huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow" (from the album Apostrophe).
• In addition to social satire, the animated series South Park also uses a lot of toilet humour, even going so far as to have a talking piece of excrement called Mr. Hankey as a recurring character.
• Dr. Slump, a manga from Akira Toriyama (the creator of Dragon Ball), also had a strong scatological bent.
• The Private Eye comic strip Barry McKenzie written by Barry Humphries and drawn by Nicholas Garland are a treasure trove of chundering, parking the tiger, splashing the boots, and draining the dragon, with much of the allegedly Australian slang created by Humphries himself.
• Ubu Roi by Alfred Jarry, translated as King Turd, opens with the line "Merdre!" (a corruption of the French merde, translated by Barbara Wright as "shittr") and is filled with scatological humour. Though Jarry was only 14 years old when he began it as a spoof of one of his teachers, it is now regarded as one of the first examples of the Theatre of the Absurd.
• The adult comic magazine Viz has, over 25 years, built a publishing empire from toilet humour.
• The movie Dumb and Dumber featured a lengthy toilet scene played by actor Jeff Daniels.
• Paska (Finnish for "shit") is a Finnish one man band. It was once disbanded because of gastrointernal disagreements.

Toilet humour also refers to jokes around modesty, such as if one is seen naked or in his/her undergarments. It can also refer to jokes revolving around the incontinence of infants and young children or the aged or infirm. Jokes about wedgies and tighty-whitey underpants also fall in this category.

Constipation is another source of toilet humour. Screamin' Jay Hawkins recorded his "Constipation Blues" with his trademark yells after his first bout with blockage and the Bonzo Dog Band recorded "The Strain" on the same topic and with many of the same sound effects.

Contents 1 Euphemisms and witticisms 1.1 Urination 1.2 Defecation 1.3 Flatulence 1.4 Vomiting 1.5 Eructation 1.6 Combinations 1.7 Miscellaneous body parts, odours and medical ailments 1.8 Miscellaneous bodily odours and medical ailments 1.9 Ambiguous 2 See also 3 External links

Euphemisms and witticisms

Many forms of toilet humour involve euphemisms for excretion, such as the following:

Urination

• To go and spend a penny
• Beating the piss out of the little guy
• Blasting the beast
• Bleeding the lizard
• Breaking the seal
• Change water on the goldfish
• Coffee dump
• Do a wee
• Draining the dragon
• Draining the main vein
• Draining the radiator
• Draining the one-eyed monster
• Draining down the system
• Expel urine from my sack of pee
• Freshen my Snapple
• Go pee pee
• Going to water my horse
• Hosing the porcelain
• Humping the cat loin
• Leak the lizard
• Let er' fly
• Lift leg (used commonly among members of the furry fandom, derived from how male canines urinate)
• Lower the water level
• Make one's bladder gladder
• Number one
• Pass water
• Paying the water bill
• Pee
• Pwenk (very rare)
• Pee Pee
• Piddle (considered a coarse expression in some quarters)
• Pit stop
• Point the Pink Pistol at the Porcelain Firing Range
• Pointing Percy at the porcelain
• Punish the porcelain
• Putting out the fire
• Raining on the bowl
• Release the pressure
• Refresh the body
• Relieve yourself
• See a man about a horse
• Shaking hands with the president
• Shaking hands with the vicar
• Shaking hands with the wife's best friend
• Shaking the dew off the lily
• Soaking yourself
• Splashing the pirate
• Spend a penny
• Sprinkle
• Sprinkle my tinkle
• Steering Stanley to the stainless steel
• Syphon the python
• Taking a leak
• Taking a pee
• Taking a piss (considered a coarse expression in some quarters)
• Taking a slash
• Taking a squirt
• Taking a whiz`z
• Tapping a kidney
• Tinkle
• Training Thomas on the terracotta
• Troggle
• Twinkle
• Visit Uncle Charley
• Void my bladder
• Walk my snake
• Water my weasel
• Watering the flowers (outdoor)
• Write my name in the water
• Write my name in the snow
• Take a wicked "Yes" (Family Guy; Peter Griffin in French class after hearing the word, Oui Oui)

Defecation

• A sewer snake to release
• Anaconda action
• Arsefire
• Back one out
• Backing the big brown motorhome out of the garage
• Baiting the trap
• Becoming the porcelain assassin
• Blasting a dookie
• Blow one out - Also flatulence
• Blow the load
• BM (Bowel Movement. Quoted by Donkey in Shrek 2.)
• Boo-Boo
• Bomb the porcelain sea
• Burn a mule
• Caca
• Carpet Bombing Afghanistan
• Chocolate time!
• Cripping a crapple
• Curling one off
• Cutting rope
• Deceiver of Farts
• De-corking the borking
• Deucing
• Dirty squirties
• Doing brown
• Doing some spring cleaning
• Dominating
• Doo-Doo
• Doodey
• Download a brownload
• Dr. Benjamin Fartlin
• Dropping a dook
• Dropping a bomb
• Dropping a deuce
• Dropping a hoopsnake
• Dropping a jolst
• Dropping a load
• Dropping anchor
• Dropping bass ("base" as in the opposite of treble. Not the fish.)
• Dropping logs
• Dropping some friends off at the pool
• Dropping the Browns off at the Super Bowl
• Dropping the kids off at the pool
• Dropping the Mexican Boll Weevil
• Dropping the weights
• Dropping wax
• Faxing a shit to the toilet machine
• Feeding the seagulls (politer version of "Feeding the shitehawks")
• Feeding the toilet
• Fertilising the plants (refers to defecating outdoors and on the ground, such as while camping)
• Filing some papers
• Filling the bowl
• Fire away
• Freeing me chocolate hostages
• Giving birth
• Giving birth to a chocolate baby boy
• Giving birth to a healthy brown baby
• Giving birth to the black eel
• Giving birth to the Spineless Brownfish
• Giving birth to an African
• Going Boom Boom
• Going poop
• Going to meet Jim Davidson
• Going to number two
• Going to have a talk with Mr.Hanky
• Growing a tail
• Hanging a rat
• Hungry Hungry Hippos
• Kurt Bevacqua
• Launching torpedoes
• Laying a brick
• Laying a brownie
• Laying a cable
• Laying a Hank
• Laying a turd
• Laying some wolf bait
• Lengthening the spine
• Letting loose
• Letting the dogs out
• Lift tail (used commonly among members of the furry fandom)
• Logging
• Logging into the toilet and making a huge download
• Logging out
• Load your pants
• Lose some weight (Also used in urination)
• Making a tail
• Making gravy
• Making logs (or a log)
• Making waves
• Makin' bears
• Monopoly!
• Montezuma's Revenge (traveller’s diarrhoea)
• Number two (a portable toilet company advertises itself as "Number One in Number Two"; a Midwest plumbing company proclaims, "We're Number One in a Number Two Business.")
• Pebble-dashing the porcelain
• Pinching (off) a loaf
• Pinching a yam
• Pinch-hitting for Kurt Bevacqua (a reference to the old brown uniforms worn in the 1970's and 1980's by the San Diego Padres.)
• Poo-Poo
• Poopy Doo
• Poppin a gooky
• Producing some output
• Pump a clump of dump out of my rump
• Punching a growler
• Punishing the porcelain
• Punishing the toilet
• Put food in the dog's water
• Releasing a depth charge
• Releasing a Dungbomb (from Harry Potter)
• Releasing the hostages
• Releasing the Kraken
• Ride a pony and trap
• Ring of fire
• Sacrificing to the Toilet/Porcelain god
• Saturday morning special
• Scatter bombing
• Shitting bricks (Houses or apartments as substitutes for higher quantity.)
• Showering the room with roses
• Shtounga
• Slopping gruel in Oliver's bowl
• Speaking with the arabs (When whoever is listening asks "what" the toiletee replies "Mustapha Crap!")
• Spray-painting the porcelain
• Squirt juice
• Stalling a brown sedan
• Studying one's Process Design notes (refers to Environmental Engineering Process Design, a course taught to civil and environmental engineering undergraduates and that deals with, among other topics, the design of wastewater treatment facilities)
• Taking a brew
• Taking a crap (see also Mr. Thomas Crapper)
• Taking a dump
• Taking a Nixon (used by Kinky Friedman in his detective novels)
• Taking a poo
• Taking a shit (a coarse expression, not a euphemism)
• Taking a slam
• Taking the Browns to the Superbowl
• Taking the Cosby kids to the pool
• Taking the morning curl
• Throwing up backwards
• Tuesday Afternoons
• Turtle time (see Turtle Action)
• Unlikely Traveler (Defecation, usually on vacation, when you defacate in your pants away from a toilet)
• Unload
• Unloading a batch of cigars
• UH-OH! (Peter Griffin again; is incontinent at awkward moments)
• Visiting Boston
• vote for president.
• Take a Critical Ambient to the Lab

Flatulence

• All-natural fumigation
• Anal thunder
• A quick piece from the anus orchestra
• Air poo
• Arsehole Symphony
• Arse-music
• Arse-whistling
• Anal music
• Bake brownies (from South Park)
• Barking spiders
• Beef
• Beef-cloud
• Biological Warfare
• Blow a big one
• Blow off
• Blow one out - Also defecation
• Blowing out the colon
• Booty burp
• Bottom burp
• Break wind
• Browning your shorts
• Buckshot
• Bum notes
• Bunker blast
• Bust arse
• Butt Thunder
• Chemical warfare
• Choke a donkey
• Churning urn of burning funk
• Corporal Fart Sounds the Trumpets for the arrival of General Kaka
• Crop Dusting (while walking)
• Curry night
• Cut the cheese
• Diffusion
• Dropping arse
• Drop a bomb
• Drop one's guts (as in "Who dropped their guts?")
• Dropping wolf bait
• Erupting the anal volcano
• Evacuating the second floor
• Explosion between the legs
• Explosion in my pants
• Farting
• Feem
• Fire in the hole
• Floating an air biscuit
• Freshing up the air
• Flatulating
• Gas leakage
• Gaseous Anal Discharge (GAD)
• Give birth to a brown baby ghost
• Give up the funk
• Grunt (as in "Who grunted?")
• Guff/guff an eggy
• Honking the butt horn
• Honking for clearance
• Killing the barking spiders (helps if you stomp)
• Launching a growler
• Launch one off
• Let off a howler
• Let off a stinker
• Letting the Wookie win
• Let one go
• Let one off
• Let one rip
• Let Polly out of prison
• Let slip the dog of war
• Let the peach speak
• Listening to Jim Davidson
• Meef
• Message from below
• Number four
• Parp
• Pass gas
• Pass wind
• Poo dust
• Pumping
• Rip arse
• Rip one
• Silent, but deadly (SBD)
• Silent, but violent (SBV)
• "Speak to me, oh toothless one!"
• Step on a frog
• Taffing
• Toot
• Tootle
• Trouser cough
• Trumping
• Vulcan butt breathing
• War cry
• Was that a mouse on a Harley?
• Watch out for those barking spiders
• Woofie

Vomiting

• Alan's psychedelic breakfast
• Barfing
• Be the mother bird
• Bite the Chobie
• Blowing beets/bile/breakfast/chunks/donuts
• Blue chip special
• Blow chunks
• Booting
• Bow down before the porcelain god (On some occasions, the worshipper vows to the god never to drink again.)
• Bradding
• Bronx's Nightmare
• Bring it up for a vote
• Calling dinosaurs (Used for particularly loud bouts of emesis.)
• Calling Huey (or Ralph) on the commode-a-phone
• Catch it on the rebound
• Cheektowaga scream
• Cheese
• Chow
• Chuck Wagon Chowder
• Chunder
• Cook up a pavement pizza
• Cry Ruth
• Date Porcelain Patty
• Do the Bush Thing (used in Japan, after President Bush, Sr. threw up on a Japanese prime minister)
• Driving the Buick to Europe
• Driving the porcelain (school) bus
• Eat backwards
• Feed the fish (when seasick)
• Feed your young (like a mother bird regurgitates food for her chicks)
• Food Escape!
• Going "bologna"
• Have an out-of-stomach experience
• Hiccup from Hell
• Hock a furball
• Horking
• Hug the porcelain wishing well
• Hurling
• Hwarfing
• Inverse Gut
• Jackson Pollock
• Jump shot
• Kiss the can
• Kneel before the porcelain throne
• Lap lung butter
• Launch lunch
• Liquid laugh
• Lose your lunch
• Make an offering to the porcelain gods
• Make a crustless pizza
• Make a hideous jiffy bag
• Make like Mount St. Helens
• McDonald's "Special"
• Munt
• New England Clam Chowder
• Number three
• Offer a sacrifice at the porcelain altar
• Paint the sidewalk
• Park the tiger
• Pay homage to the Irishman Huey O'Rourke
• Pop a gastric zit
• Pray/worship at the porcelain altar/temple
• Pray to the porcelain god/goddess/princess
• Puking
• Pulling the trigger (intentionally vomiting)
• Quease
• Ralphing
• Regurgitate
• Reverse-drink (from the Thunder Mug)
• Revisit dinner
• Ride the Regurgitron
• Rope på elgen (Norwegian for "call the moose")
• Round trip meal ticket
• Scream at the ants
• Sing psychedelic praises to the depths of the china bowl
• Snarf
• Snow bank pizza
• Soittaa posliinipuhelimella Norjaan (Finnish for "make a phone call to Norway with a telephone made of porcelain")
• Soul coughing
• Spewing
• Splatterhouse
• Spraying McDonalds (as in "Did somebody spray McDonalds?")
• Talking on the porcelain telephone
• Talking to the weeds
• Talking to God on the big white telephone
• Technicolour yawn/yodel
• Throwing up
• Thunder-chunder rainbow parfait
• Toilet bowl toss
• Tossing your cookies
• Tossing your lunch
• Turn your guts inside-out
• Un-eat
• Upchuck
• Vector-spew
• Vomiting
• Warhol wail
• Waste good beer
• Yakking
• Yarfing
• Yawn for the hearing impaired
• Yodelling to the porcelain megaphone
• Yorxing

Eructation

• Backward fart
• Belching
• Burping
• Ructus
• The call of the wildebeast
• Seltch (Sneezing and belching due to overpressures.)

Combinations

Another section of toilet humour involves combination bodily functions, which are generally the unexpected result of some forcing mechanism. While these events certainly don't have the lexicographical diversity of their single-function counterparts, they are generally considered humorous in discussion and especially in occurrence.

• Acid Beak - (see Turtle Action)
• Anal Leakage- Leaking anus. Generally unexpected, Action of incontinence, also 'sharting' in one's pants or underwear.
• Crop Dusting - Flatulation while walking quickly {'the man crop dusted his office hoping no one would pin the bad smell on him'}
• Escapee - A fart that escapes while urinating and/or defecating and/or eructating and/or vomiting and/or sneezing (Snarting).
• Hot Wheels- (Toy car brand name, T.V ad shows flaming tracks),track/skid marks remaining on the floor of the porcelain bowl after the first, and/or several flush(es)
• Out of the Closet Pooper - A colleague who defecates at the office unashamedly; usually seen going to the bathroom with a newspaper in hand.
• SBP - (DMU), Defecation, menstruation and urination in unison.
• Sharting - When someone defecates as the result of overpressures created by attempting to flatulate.
• Snarting - When someone farts as the result of sneezing-induced overpressures.
• The Holy Shart - When someone defecates in his/her pants with a fart that came as the result of sneezing. Better if someone says "bless you" with the sneeze.
• Turd Burglar - A person who tries to open the door of your stall while you are defecating.
• Turtle Action - (see Turtle Time), occurs when the tip, or head of the feces peeks out the anus and/or the sensation of.
• Vurping - When someone vomits when they eructate.

Miscellaneous body parts, odours and medical ailments

Many of these have their own sets of slang and humorous terms and euphemisms or disphemisms (which should be developed as part of this article).

• Anus, Rectum, or Sphincter
  • Asshole
  • Back door
  • Balloon Knot (From Family Guy when Stewie was referring to Brian's worm problem)
  • Blowhole
  • Butthole
  • Bung Hole
  • Brown-eye
  • Chocolate starfish
  • Cornhole
  • Your Cheeks
  • Poop Chute
  • Pooper
  • Stinker
  • Stink Tube
  • Wrinkle Star
  • see also the article Buttocks

• Breasts
  • Baby refueling station
  • Balloons
  • Bazongas or Bazookas
  • Booblets
  • Boobs
  • Coconuts
  • Choobies
  • Dirty Pillows
  • Double D
  • Funbags
  • Gazongas
  • Hand warmers
  • Headlights
  • Honkers
  • Hooters
  • Jugs
  • Knockers
  • Mammories
  • Melons
  • Milk factories
  • Sweater cows
  • Sweater kittens
  • Sweater puppets
  • Tits
  • Titties
  • Yams

• Nipples
  • Smuggling raisins (when erect and visible when clothed)

• Bromidrosis - chronic foot odour
  • Foulfoot
  • Fungusfoot
  • Gruyere
  • Oka (the worst)
  • Salt & Vinegar
  • St. Andre
  • Stinkfoot

• Constipation
  • Backed up
  • Blocked up
  • Bunged up
  • Full of bricks
  • Plugged up

• Erection
  • Big Banana
  • Big Shlong
  • Boner
  • Hard-on
  • Morning Glory
  • Morning wood (when greeted with an erection in the morning)
  • Stiffy
  • Woody

• Male member = Penis
  • Banana
  • Bobby Dangler
  • Cock
  • Dick
  • Dink
  • Dingaling (Thank you Mr. Chuck Berry)
  • Dingle
  • Dong
  • Dongle
  • Floppy Disk
  • Fuck Stick
  • Hard Disk
  • Helmet head
  • Hose
  • Guy
  • Johnson
  • Lap Rocket
  • Mushroom tip (Sublime - Caress Me Down)
  • One-eyed trouser snake
  • One-eyed trouser trout (Tom Green - Pet Names for genitalia)
  • Pecker
  • Pork
  • Shaft
  • Shlong
  • Thingy
  • Twig ('Twig & Berries'- from the movie Austin Powers, thank you Mike Meyers)
  • Tool
  • Weiner
  • Wang
  • Whoopie Stick
  • Willy
  • Wiggly (esp. for a child's)
  • for the erect state, see above Erection

• Scrotum and Testes
  • Balls
  • Ballbag
  • Bag or scrotbag
  • Berries ('Twig & Berries'- from the movie Austin Powers, thank you Mike Meyers)
  • Boys
  • Coinpurse
  • Donkey Balls (ref. to esp. large scrotum)
  • Family jewels
  • Jewels
  • Nuts
  • Nut-sack
  • Oranges
  • Sack
  • Tetlies
  • Your two best friends (from the movie Spaceballs by Mel Brooks)
  • Cash and prizes (courtesy of Dane Cook)

• Vulva
  • Axe Wound
  • Bearded clam
  • Beaver
  • Camel Toe
  • Clam Hat
  • Coochie/Cooch
  • Cunt
  • Flower
  • Gash
  • Ham Wallet
  • Mucker
  • Muff
  • Muffin
  • Ninja boot
  • Oyster Ditch
  • Petal
  • Pinocha
  • Poon
  • Poonanny
  • Poontang
  • Priscilla
  • Pussy
  • Punani
  • Snapper
  • Snatch
  • Spam Purse
  • Squish Mitten
  • Vag (sounds like badge, used by Mr. Garrison from South Park)
  • Wee-wee (esp. for a child's)

Miscellaneous bodily odours and medical ailments

Many of these have their own sets of slang and humorous terms and euphemisms or disphemisms (which should be developed as part of this article).

• Diarrhea
  • Acid bombs
  • AK-47 action
  • Arseplosion
  • Bubbleguts
  • Carpet bomb
  • Montezuma's revenge
  • No. 3
  • P.H.I.D.S. (Poophole In Distress Syndrome)
  • Scatter bomb
  • Spray-painting
  • Spray poops
  • The Shits
  • The Squirts
  • The trotts, or the green-apple trots
  • The Skitters
  • Turista
  • Ring stinger
  • Shitting through the eye of a needle
  • Arse blast

• Halitosis - chronic bad breath
  • Death breath
  • Barf breath
  • Dragons breath
  • Dementor (from Harry Potter)
  • Farthead

• Hemorrhoids
  • Arse lips
  • Arse petals
  • Arse flower
  • Arseteriods
  • Hemmies
  • 'Roids

Ambiguous

The following are used as intentionally ambiguous terms for a visit to a bathroom/toilet to urinate, defecate, or both:

• Answering nature's call
• *Camo-Cough - a fake cough used to distract attention from potentially embarassing in-stall noises
• *Courtesy flush - flushing the moment the feces hits water to minimize odors, reduce risk of taking the 'walk of shame'(see Walk of Shame)
• *Decorating the toilet seat (putting paper on the seat)
• Finding safe haven
• Finishing up some paper-work (wiping)
• Freshening up
• Getting an appointment with Dr. John
• Going to Pakistan
• Going to hit the head (Naval Term)
• Going to let loose in the loo
• Going to see a man about a horse
• Going to sit on the bowl
• Going to sit on the throne
• Going to the bathroom (US)
• Going to the can
• Going to the Chamber Of Secrets (seeing that it was located in a bathroom)
• Going to the dunny
• Going to the "happy room" (Thailand)
• Going to the little boys'/girls' room (mostly in American English)
• Going to the "little inventor's room"
• Going to the loo (UK)
• Going to see a man about a dog (UK)
• Going to the "office" (or "cubicle")
• Going to the privy
• Going to the Royal office
• Going where even the emperor must go on foot
• Going where even the king goes alone
• Having a healthy
• Hit the can
• Painting the porcelain
• Paying a visit
• Perfume the loo
• Powdering one's nose
• Reclaiming the throne
• Reigning on a porcelain throne
• Seeing Mrs. Murphy
• Spend a penny
• Spray-painting the porcelain
• Taking a biological break
• Taking a constitutional
• * The Walk of Shame - The steps taken from stall, to stink, to door after one has stunk up the (usually workplace) bathroom, (can sometimes be prevented with the courtesy flush)
• Turtle time!
• Using the can
• Using the facilities
• Using the john
• Using the plumbing
• Visiting Mr. Limbaugh
• Visiting Mr. Stallman
• Washing one's hands
• Washing up

See also

• Blink-182
• Gross-out film
• Le Pétomane
• Lighting farts
• Mr Hanky
• South Park
• Scatology
• The Poopsmith
• List of sexual slang

External links

• doodie.com Popular website featuring cartoons of people defecating.nl:Poep- en pieshumor