Production Number: 1F17
Original Air Date: September 11, 1994
Writer: Mike Scully
Director: Mark Kirkland
Blackboard: "No one is interested in my underpants"
Couch Gag: The family swims to the couch
Guest Voice: Winona Ryder as Allison Taylor
Template:Spoiler Lisa feels as if she's going to have to work a little bit more now that a new student, Allison Taylor (voiced by Winona Ryder), has arrived at Springfield Elementary. Allison is not only as smart as Lisa, or maybe smarter, but she's pretty, a great saxophone player, and a great diorama builder. Afterwards Lisa tries to be her friend but she's full of envy and jealousy, especially with the arrival of the annual "Dioramarama", which is a competition of building dioramas. Allison already has her project set which is The Tell-Tale Heart, by Edgar Allan Poe. Using Bart's help Lisa decides to pull a cruel prank on her. She switches Allison's Tell-Tale Heart diorama with a rotten cow's heart but regrets at the last moment. Ironically, both Lisa's and Allison's projects lose to Ralph Wiggum's.
- Ralph Wiggum: "What's a diorama?"
- Principal Skinner: "What do you think?"
Miss Hoover: "I think it's almost lunchtime."
- Ralph Wiggum: "I beat the smart kids. I beat the smart kids."
- Ralph Wiggum: "I bent my Wookiee."
- Homer: "In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women."
- Skinner: Our foreign exchange student Üter has chosen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Wait. This is just an empty box.
Üter (his hands and mouth covered in chocolate): I begged you to see mine first! I begged you!
- Bart (into tape recorder): Note: next year, order fewer cards.
- Bart: It's not all lost. I did tip off the Feds as to the whereabouts of our good friend Milhouse.
(cut to Milhouse being held at gunpoint in a hydroelectric dam, a'la The Fugitive)
Milhouse: I'm telling you, I didn't do anything.
Agent (Tommy Lee Jones): I don't care.
(Milhouse turns around, looks down, takes a breath, and jumps off the dam)
Milhouse: Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! (hits churning water at bottom) My glasses!
- Lisa: Ralph, would you like to play Anagrams with us?
Allison: We take proper names and rearrange them to form a description of that person.
Ralph: My cat's breath smells like cat food.
- Lisa: I never made Miss Hoover 'Yowee'.
- Sherri: It's Bart, and he's doing stuff!
Skinner: Bart, stop creating a diversion and get out of here!