George Costanza

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Jason Alexander as George Costanza

George Louis Costanza is a fictional character on the U.S. television sitcom Seinfeld (1989–1998), played by Jason Alexander.

George was Jerry Seinfeld's neurotic best friend. He sometimes lived with his parents, Estelle and Frank Costanza, a bitter couple who were as neurotic as their son. As a teenager, he was tormented by his gym teacher, who intentionally mispronounced George's last name as "Can't Stand Ya." George and Jerry attended public school together, setting the dynamic for their later relationship. George claims that he and Jerry met in gym class when George, climbing rope, fell on Jerry. But in a few episodes, it is hinted that Jerry and George may have been friends before high school (i.e. when Jerry reminisces that he beat George up in grade 4).

George has numerous psychological problems, including: narcissism, habitual lying, low self-esteem, sudden fits of anger, impulsive acts of ill-considered genorosity, cheapness, selfishness, living in fantasy and a codependent friendship with Jerry that occasionally borders on suppressed homoeroticism. Like Kramer, he would often concoct elaborate plots to weasel out of relational, financial, or legal obligations, always with unexpected and negative consequences.

The character of George is based partly on the show's co-creator, Larry David. In the first couple of seasons, George was restrained by the standards of his earlier actions. But as the series went on, his schemes and personality became more outlandish. Alexander related in an interview that, early in the creation of the show, he once expressed having problems acting out a scene in the script, because he felt no one would ever behave in such a way. David replied to him that the exact situation had actually happened to him, and he had reacted in exactly the same way. Alexander said that this was a breakthrough for him in portraying the character, giving him valuable insight into both David and George.

Template:Spoiler During the series, George had a number of recurring fears and obsessions, including baseball, pretending to be financially successful, contracting lupus, and dating Marisa Tomei.

George's professional life was unstable. He was unable to remain in any job for any great length of time before making an embarrassing blunder and getting fired. Over the course of the series, he worked for the New York Yankees, an industrial smoothing company, and countless other places. He was fired from his job at Pendant Publishing for having sex with the cleaning woman. His original job when the series started was as a real estate agent; he ended up getting fired after he slipped his boss a mickey. His dream job was an architect, a job he would often pretend to have. In one episode, Jerry told a girl George wanted to impress that George was a marine biologist. The plan backfired when George was called upon to save a beached whale with a golf ball in its blowhole; he saved the whale, but the woman rejected him when he confessed that he was not, in fact, a marine biologist.

George briefly gained experience as a sitcom writer as he helped Jerry to write the pilot for the fictitious show Jerry. While pitching the concept of a "show about nothing" to NBC executives, George claimed to have written an off-Broadway play entitled La Cocina, about a Mexican chef named Pepe. In La Cocina, George claimed Pepe mimed the preparation of tamales, and it was the mime aspect that made the play so funny.

George was engaged to Susan Biddle Ross, a wealthy executive at NBC who approved Jerry and George's show-within-the-show sitcom pilot. George and Susan dated on and off for a year, during which time the commitment-phobic George was constantly trying to find ways to end their relationship without actually having to initiate the break up with her. He proposed to her in a short-lived bout of midlife crisis, after he and Jerry made a "pact" to move forward with their lives. When Jerry broke up with his girlfriend and declared the deal over, George panicked and again tried repeatedly to weasel out of his engagement. He got his wish days before the wedding, when he indirectly killed her by selecting the cheapest envelopes for their wedding invitations, not knowing they contained toxic glue. Susan's parents never forgave him for this, and they appointed him to the Board of Directors of the Susan Biddle Ross Foundation to keep him trapped in their influences.

George had an unusual affinity for velvet. When he was dating a woman who had velvet-covered furniture but lived with a man named Scott, he desired to replace Scott so that he could be "ensconced in velvet." His scheme had unintended consequences, because when Scott moved out, he took all the furniture (complete with the velvet) with him. In another episode, George stated that if it were socially acceptable he would "drape [himself] in velvet." He dated a woman who had absolutely no interest in physical appearances, so he started wearing a velvet jogging suit. This may be an affinity of Larry David. (See an interview with Larry David on 60 Minutes II.)

George's father Frank invented the December holiday Festivus to counter the commercialism of Christmas. When George was a child, he was forced to celebrate the holiday, and as a result George hates Festivus. George shows his feelings for the holiday when he refuses to take down Frank in the Feats of Strength (but Frank provokes him into doing it anyway).

Pseudonyms

Art Vandalay, George's alter ego, first appeared in the episode "The Stakeout," in which George and Jerry needed an excuse to a woman on why they were waiting in the lobby of the office building where she worked. Their excuse was that they were meeting Art Vandalay, an importer/exporter, for lunch. His original name, before George changed it at the last minute, was Art Corvalay. In one instance ("The Boyfriend (1)"), George tells the unemployment office he is close to getting a job at "Vandalay Industries." The characters encounter a judge named Art Vandalay on the series finale.

At one point ("The Maid"), George wanted to be known as "T-Bone", but his co-workers at Kruger Industrial Smoothing nicknamed him "Koko" because he flailed his arms like an ape when he demanded the nickname "T-Bone" back from a coworker. When a Jamaican woman named Koko began work there, his nickname was changed to "Gammy". George revealed that if he were to be a porn star, his name would be "Buck Naked." During a period of unemployment for George, Jerry calls George "Biff", referring to the Biff Loman character in Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman. George once assumed the identity of a man named Donald O'Brien in order to take his limousine ("The Limo"), only to later discover this man was the leader of the Aryan Union and was on his way to make his first public appearance, at Madison Square Garden. In "The Wink," Kramer opened his door after George knocked on it and called him with "Mr. Weatherbee."

George Costanza moments

Betraying his feelings of "restrained jubilation" to the doctor who gives him the news that his bride-to-be has died.
Peeking at the information on a video store's computer screen to find out who has checked out the video for Breakfast at Tiffany's, then showing up at that family's apartment and finagling his way in, so he can avoid reading the book for his book club. The effort backfires when he spills grape juice on the family's sofa and gets kicked out before he can finish watching the movie.
Being mistaken for a Neo-Nazi leader when he takes a limousine that he believes is for four passes to a Bulls-Knicks game at Madison Square Garden.
Taking up smoking so that Susan would call off the wedding, but the cigarettes caused him to cough and vomit.
Inventing a fictitious company named "Vandelay Industries" where he said he had a job interview, in order to keep getting his unemployment benefits. The company was run by the fictitious Art Vandelay. Vandelay Industries is, according to George, a latex manufacturing company. In order to add legitimacy to the company's existence, George gives Jerry's home phone number as the company's phone number. Art Vandelay was also an importer/exporter as well as an architect. The judge in the final episode of the series was named Art Vandelay, which George interpreted as a "good sign."
Passing an incomplete IQ test through an open window to Elaine in order to cheat on it, all with his one-time girlfriend on the other side of the door. He did this so she'd think he was smarter than he really was. Elaine ends up getting a worse score than George would have if he hadn't cheated due to distractions while at Babu's restaurant (although she later scored 151).
Proposing an incestuous sexual relationship with his cousin to get his parents' attention, which she agreed to, and they briefly participated in.
Wearing Kramer's father's wedding band to get women to flirt with him (the conjecture being that women were more attracted to married men). The theory worked perfectly, but all the women were offended when George flirted back.
Telling Susan that he was meeting Elaine to discuss problems about her (made-up) boyfriend Art Vandelay when he actually was meeting Marisa Tomei. George and Elaine failed to fully develop the alibi, and Susan suspected George was having an affair with Elaine.
Calling Marisa Tomei on the eve of Susan's funeral to arrange a date: "I got the funeral tomorrow but... my weekend is pretty wide open."
Attempting multiple times to pass off a red-dotted cashmere sweater which he bought at a discount. Eventually, even one of Elaine's alcoholic coworkers sees the dot.
Leaving his car parked at Yankee Stadium so that George Steinbrenner would think he was there working even when he wasn't. Other escapades while at the Yankees included: turning the space underneath his desk into an area suitable for napping, pretending to be stressed in order to avoid work, and masquerading as a Communist in order to date a woman whose personal ad appeared in the Daily Worker newspaper.
Getting ensconced or draped in velvet.
Buying a car solely on the belief that it was once owned by Jon Voight (it was actually owned by the dentist "John Voight").
Faking a disability so that he could get his own private bathroom at work.
During a fire that had been started accidently at a child's birthday party, George ran across the house, pushing and knocking everyone and everything in his path, screaming fire as he ran to the door. Then once he got out, he held the door closed, trapping the people inside. When asked by a firefighter how he could live with himself, George responded "It's not easy."
Trying to get money back for a book he brought into a bookstore bathroom. He was forced to pay for it, because the book was "flagged" at all the area bookstores.
Recording an out-going answering machine message, and singing it to the tune of the hit song "Believe it or Not" (from The Greatest American Hero). He sung:

Believe it or not, George isn't at home

Please leave a message at the beep.

I must be out or I'd pick up the phone

Where could I be?

Believe it or not, I'm not home.

Trying to get the Frogger game to his house from Mario's Pizzeria, where he and Jerry frequented when they were younger. The game is running on batteries, because George wants to preserve his all-time high score on the console (the high scores would be erased were the machine to lose power). Unfortunately, while George tries in vain to get the console to the other side of the street after performing a series of maneuvers resembling the game itself, a truck destroys the machine, after which Jerry remarks, "Game over."
Continuing to use the name Art Vandelay until the show's final episode, when a judge by that name presides over the trial of the "New York Four," in which the defendants broke the Good Samaritan Law in the fictional town of Latham, Massachusetts. Jerry and George take it as a sign that they will be acquitted, but after a swarm of previous guest characters (from Marla the Virgin to the parents of Susan Ross) testify against the four friends, Judge Vandelay sentences George, Jerry, Kramer, and Elaine to one year removed from society.
Demanding that an area hospital pay for his damaged car after a man committed suicide by jumping off the hospital roof and landing on George's car.
Trying to convert to Latvian Orthodoxy in order to keep a girlfriend. George tells the priest that the reason for his conversion was the nice hats worn by the clergy.
Pretending to have poor eyesight so that he could get a certain textbook on tape, his reasoning being that whenever he reads a book he hears his own voice reading the words. But when he gets the tape, he realizes the narrator sounds like him.
Developing back problems because of his oversized wallet. The wallet finally explodes out in the street.
Competing for an apartment with an SS Andrea Doria survivor by telling the board about his horrifying life. He loses the apartment to a boyfriend of Elaine's who bribes the building superintendant with $50.
Working briefly as a hand model before he burned his hands on an iron.
Agreeing to play Trivial Pursuit with Donald the Bubble Boy in upstate New York. Got in a fight with Donald when George insisted the answer was "Moops" but Donald said it was "Moors" (the card was a misprint). Susan ended up deflating the Bubble Boy, and George was accused of trying to kill Donald.
Trying to become friends with a black man to prove to his boss that he was not racist.
Performing a series of stunts at Yankee Stadium, such as wearing Babe Ruth's jersey, streaking across the field in a body suit (he instead gained popularity with the fans as "Body Suit Man," and wrecking the team's 1996 World Series trophy with his car. He does this in an attempt to make Steinbrenner fire him so he can take a job offer from the New York Mets. In the end, George's boss, Mr. Wilhelm comes in and claims he made George do those things. Wilhelm is thus fired instead, and he is the one hired by the Mets.
Claiming to have won "the Contest," though in the finale, he admitted to Jerry that he cheated.
Attending anger management sessions at the request of his friends, but the fact that the coach wanted him to hide his anger angered George too much to continue. Incited a participant at a Rage-aholics meeting by referring to him as a pinhead.
Asking Elaine to get him a job at Pendant Publishing. Elaine's boss, Mr. Lippman, conducted an impromptu job interview with George, asking him what authors he liked. Pressed for specifics, George mentioned he liked Art Vandelay. According to George, Vandelay was an obscure beatnik writer who wrote Venetian Blinds.
Crashing a baby shower to confront an ex-girlfriend who threw Bosco on his red shirt during a performance.
Mistakenly thinking that he impregnated a woman in the episode "The Fixup". This happened because Kramer had given him a defective condom. Referring to his sperm, George yells that "My boys can swim!" but it later turns out that the woman was not pregnant. In an uncharacteristic twist, George was more concerned with the woman's needs and offered to support her no matter what.
Pitching some new ideas for two other NBC shows while backstage at The Tonight Show. First, George pitches his idea for "the perfect episode of L.A. Law" to Corbin Bernsen, then makes a suggestion to George Wendt that the setting of Cheers be changed because it's "enough with the bar already." Bernsen and Wendt make George the butt of their jokes on the talk show, much to George's dismay.
Purchasing a Twix bar from the candy machine from a car dealership, only to see the candy get stuck, then losing it to a mechanic who buys another Twix, getting two packages. George then heads to the complaint department demanding an apology, a refund, and for "that man to be fired."
Being the subject of mockery after a televised tennis tournament showed a shot of him sloppily eating a sundae.
In an early episode titled "The Suicide," George is talking with a psychic and mentions that he has a brother. Later episodes repeatedly portray George as an only child.

Famous George Costanza quotes

"It's not you, it's me."
"Nobody ever says it's them, not me. If it's anybody, it's me."
"You're damn right it's me!"
"I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate, I've got it all!"
"I am speechless, I have no speech!"
"Why do I get pesto? Why do I think I'll like it? I keep trying to like it, like I have to like it. Everybody likes pesto. You walk into a restaurant, that's all you hear: pesto, pesto, pesto. Where was pesto ten years ago?"
"No, no, I don't think I'm special. My mother always said I'm not special."
"George is getting upset!"
"You're killing independent George!!"
"No one gives us the finger. We're Yankees!"
"My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents."
"You know, we're living in a society!"
"Lupus? Is it lupus?"
"Jerry, just remember: It's not a lie if you believe it."
"I've driven women to lesbianism before but never to a mental institution."
"My father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter, I was raised to give up. It's one of the few things I do well."
"So, anything to uh, nosh?"
"Alright, that's it for me, you've been great! Good night, everybody."
"I can't believe it! I'm a father! I did it! My boys can swim! I can do it! I can do it!"
"He's beboppin' and scattin' and I'm losing it!"
"You had to hop. You had to hop on the plane!!!"
"I was in the pool! I was in the pool!" (referring to his very flacid penis, when spotted nude)
"It's not my fault. Seinfeld can't drive! How hard is it to follow somebody?"
"The 'jerk store' called, and they're running out of you!"
"The life support machine called..."
"You tell that son of a bitch no Yankee is ever coming to Houston, not as long as you bastards are running things!"
"Parking in the city is just like sex. Why should I pay for it when, if I apply myself, I might be able to get it for free?"
"I can't carry a pen, I'm afraid it'll puncture my scrotum."
"And so, without further ado, I give you... the candy lineup."
"If you take everything I've accomplished in my life and condense it down to one day, it looks decent!"